Results tagged “Personal”

The longer I think what I've been doing in the last weeks the more I realize, that I'm currently lacking motivation to do anything.

Yes, I've been gathering quite some overtime hours, but the additional work only covers the issue that I have problems with getting out of bed as early as I did in my past. Currently my daily works starts at around 8.30am while before it was possible that I've been productive already before 7am. Maybe this is a sideeffect of my sleeping-issues which have eased a bit but are still present nevertheless. What it also means, that I'm working until late in the evening now and arrive home when most of the others are already in bed.

And I do not have the motivation to do anything productive at home...

Of course, I still have my personal list of things to accomplish, what to repair, how to extend something at home, what to do to finish more rooms in the house. What's missing, is the spark which makes me take one of the points on the list and start working on it, be it repairing the silicone-isulation in the kitchen or organizing a tiler who helps me finishing the toilet and bathroom. It could also be as little as to tidy up some rooms which still have to be cleaned after a lot of room became free.

But no, mostly I just do something to not recognize the time going by. Nothing of these things have sustaining value. Everything feels empty.

I want to change that, but just wanting it is not enough...

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Today the two Voyager probes celebrate their 30th year in space. Altough, 15.5 billion km (Voyager 1) and 12.5 billion km (Voyager 2) from home there won't be many participants if they started a party there.

For a quick imagination: Light which emits from the sun needs about 8 minutes to reach Earth. When Voyager 1 sends its data to Sector 001, the signal has a journey of more than 14 hours until it can be received by human devices.

For more info on this event and interesting details see the Voyager Homepage and the BBC Science News Article.

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It's 2:08am. The LED-display on the clock tells me. She's lying next to me in bed. Sleeping. Dreaming. I know because her eye-lids are moving. I reach over, firmly touching her head. Removing a strand of hair from her face. The eyes stop moving. I stroke her long, slightly curled hair. My hand runs over her shoulders on her back. Feeling her skin. I move closer to her. Wrap my arms around her. Carefully, not to wake her up. Smelling her flavor. Cuddling. Pressing her against me. She smiles. Feels safe. Automatically holds me too. That's it. I don't need anything else. Forever this feeling. A change of the clock disturbs my happiness. 2:16am. I'm alone in bed. The dream is gone. The bubble bursted. I'm unable to sleep. All my thoughts circle around her. 2:22am. I know this will become a long night... Again... Alone...

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That's the feeling I'm experiencing currently every other minute... Several times I catch myself trying to play with the ring on my finger which has been there for several years now. But now when my fingers reach the skin instead of the metal I realize what I've been doing.

But over time, I'll get used to the new absence too...

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Ok, now it's official. My darling and I split up, she just finished moving out of my place. The year-long efforts of my mother and grandmother finally paid off as their little teases put that much stress on our relationship that it would be unjustifiable for both of us if she sticked with me any longer.

It would have been easier for us if there would be any significant reason within our relationship for a breakup, but there's nothing like that.

Thanks ma, thanks grandma for putting an end to the happiest time in my life. You really know what's best for me...

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Radical changes are going on. Those who have to know know already, the rest will know soon. 5yr 7mth

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I just recognized that I forgot to mention, that my darling became employed at the same place as I did some weeks ago. And it's great to see how she surprised many people by how fast she got grip and dived into the topics. It's also very good that she has great colleagues around her area and likes her work so far. Only downside is that a few colleagues are currently not available which she depends on getting some of her stuff done and to gather know-how from.

And on the other side my "almost-sister-in-law" recently managed to finish another study and acquire her second title. Congrats, Mrs. MMag.a :)

Third thing is that the brother of mentioned sister-in-law (almost) and his wife now had the church-part of their marriage. Now you're a married couple not only by law but also in front of god :)

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With 36°C outside it's really hard to keep up a smooth workflow....

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Last week my darling passed her Matura with honors. Outstanding success. I was present the afternoon when her tests took place and watched her and a few other peoples taking the tests and all in all I had the feeling that most of them really had knowledge of what they were talking about. Altough I know for a few this did not apply, since I can remember my own Matura, all of them passed.

A few comments regarding my sweetheart were even included in the headmasters speech afterwards for her outstanding success and exceptional development in the last few years.

Now after a long time in schools and lots of learning and trouble, all of it has finally paid off.

I always told you, you'll make it :)

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The last ten finalists have been determined yesterday in the several hours lasting semi-finale. And here I may present the proud finalists who made it through the semi:

Great. So now lets get on to the fina... wait! Let me have another look at that list. See something? They're almost all eastern countries and none of them is coming from the "old" EU states. Something's strange here... Also if you have watched the show yesterday, maybe you had the same thought as I. On many songs I had the feeling that I know the music from somewhere else. For example the beginning of the song and the recurring tunes from Belarus reminded me of some songs from "James Bond". Or Switzerlands DJ Bobo reminded me of... well, himself in his other songs (which I personally like quite much nevertheless). Or Moldova, which reminds me of something like Apocalyptica or Nightwish - Nemo. And this feeling with almost all of the songs... It felt "flat", nothing really special.

And also the shows. Many of the songs more relied on the background performance than on the music or, on the other hand, on the "crazy"-factor of the song.

So in conclusion, I'm quite disappointed with this years Song Contest and also because the few entries which I think have a bit higher quality than the rest didn't qualify at all. I also expand this to our entry which I liked this time. The last few years our entries to the Song Contest (despite the success of Alf Poier) weren't really something outstanding and of quality.

And I'm not the only one who thinks this way...

PS.: I've again collected a huge pile of browser tabs, so expect another link dump in the next entries...

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From time to time I find sentences or citations which make me think. The following is one of those which I've been spending more than just a minute on.

Remember me is all I ask,

And yet

If the remembrance prove a task

Forget

(from Mind Hacks)

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Yesterdays application-marathon was quite exhausting. Four hours for the test and afterwards 30 minutes for an assessment-style interview with two professors and one psychologist.

I personally think that I did quite well with the written test and also in the interview. They didn't manage to talk me into a stressing or defensive position although they tried.

My darling had difficulties with the technical parts of the written test but I think that this doesn't harm her because she did a very good application letter and performed quite well in the interview too. Both of these are also counted.

And since yesterday fewer people applied in our chosen course than seats were available I can't think of a reason why someone who applied for yesterdays date wouldn't get accepted.

We'll be informed by the final results probably by the end of this week but at latest until May 2nd.

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Tomorrow is the important day. My sweetheart and I have to take the ordering test at the FH Joanneum, an university of applied science.

I've been cool so far but today I feel a bit of uneasiness creeping up. Well, understandable because it's a test which will affect great parts of our future and decides if we're allowed to attend the university for the next five years or not.

Our chosen course, "Software Design", lasts six semesters and equips us with the degree "Bachelor" (BSc) and allows us to complement our education afterwards with the master degree programme "Advanced Security Engineering" which we will finish as "Master of Science" (MSc).

Since these are courses which run independend from our work, we'll have to take them in our personal time. Notably Thursday evenings, Friday afternoon and evenings and Saturday all-day. For the next five years...

So you see, we're trying to load as much stress on our shoulders as we can :)

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Just to write down a quick list of games I'd really like to acquire so that I don't forget it until they are available.

  • High Possibility

    • Mortal Kombat Armageddon
    • Metroid Prime Corruption
    • Super Paper Mario
    • Super Mario Galaxy
    • Zelda - Ocarina of Time (VC, incl. Classic Controller)
  • Low Possibility

    • Godfather: Blackhand Edition
  • No Possibility

    • The Rest (until a review or tryout changes my mind ;) )
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Last weekend another journey found its end. On Saturday I finally finished Zelda: Twilight Princess. Yes, I know that it's been almost four months since I started to play it but the 72 hours of puzzling I needed to complete mean almost 45 minutes per day.

Final thoughts after the game are that in the whole it was a quite enjoyable experience and that it was worth every single second. Brought back sweet memories from my times with Zelda on the NES, SNES and GameBoy.

Now I'll take my last savepoint and try to solve the remaining mini-quests and puzzles which are still lying around all over Hyrule.

SPOILER WARNING

For a Zelda veteran most of the fights and puzzles were not too hard although some of them have kept me quite busy for some time.

  • In the Forest Temple, quite at the beginning it took me some time to find out that I have to throw the "living bombs" to blow up a rock which blocked the entry to a necessary room. Dunno why I didn't get the grasp of how to throw the bomb instantly...
  • Ganondorfs second form (the monster) was easy at first but then I didn't get Midnas hint to morph into wolf-shape and beat him down through grabbing him like goats or Gorons.
  • The hard-to-see switch crystal at the bottom of the right wing in the City In The Sky escaped my eyes very well...

These are the only hard obstacles which kept in my mind till the end.

And just for my personal reference, if I ever think I can read it without spoiling much:

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Over at the Stargate Blog the latest entry tells that the Stargate SG-1 series doesn't continue after its 10th season. A little bit of research brought up that SG-1 has already been cancelled last August according to this news-item on GateWorld.

But this ending of SG-1 brings us not only sadness but also two final feature movies (on DVD, targetted by Fall this year) called "Stargate - The Ark Of Truth" and "Stargate - Continuum" as well as a third entry in the Stargate series franchise: Stargate Universe.

So there's new hope for new galaxy-wide entertainment, let's hope that it works out better than "Enterprise" did for Star Trek.

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Once again it's such of a time where I'm quite busy with personal and work related issues that I don't find the time to put up a new post. Just about now I've got some spare minutes and thought of it and there you have it now.

What I found today is, that the all famous Dr. Dobb's Journal for software developers is available online from NXTBook Media. It's accessible here: http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/cmp/ddj0407/.

With some URL-modification there are also older editions available until back to Aug. 06. Somehow I have the feeling that the availability of this magazine and the older editions was not intentional because normally you have to pay for a subscription. Nevertheless, I've downloaded all of the available editions as PDFs (on some editions you do not have a direct link on the starting page but have to go through the Save-button) and look forward on how this develops in the future.

Update Apr. 13th: The May issue of DDJ is now also available here.

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A few days ago I acquired another small gem: a pack of 8 eneloop NiMH rechargeables.

The cool attribute of those nice little white energy-sticks (AA/Mignon size, 2000mAh) is their extremely low self-discarging rate. SANYO claims that its eneloop rechargeables still hold 85% of their charge after one year and 70% after two years. This makes it possible to use rechargeables in places where they sit for a long time without recharging like flashlights, remotes and radios.

I bought my pack to have a reliable and reusable energy source for my Wiimotes which is also more enviroment-friendly than regular batteries or rechargeables. What's even a bit surprising and nice is that the eneloops were even cheaper than most of the rechargeables which were available at the store I bought them (conrad.at).

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Ah, tomorrow I'll be back at action again. Yesterday I visited my doc again and asked for his comment and he gave me permission to work starting from Thursday. So in just a few hours from now I'll be working on more than a weeks backlog of work.

Lying around in bed for the last week was quite boring for most of the time until I gathered myself together and reconnected my Wii to the TV. From that time until today I've played surely a few hours of Zelda - Twilight Princess.

Starting last week I thought that I'd completed the game about short before two thirds. Now I've played about twice the way I'd played until last week and i still think that I'm at 2/3 of the game :) It's really a huge world but I really like that warping concept which makes it possible to reach most of the already visited spots in the game within a few minutes.

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I'm sick again but this time a bit more serious than the three days which I were sick two weeks ago. This time I'm having more than 39°C fever and a heavy cough. Needless to say that I'm feeling really down...

I think I got this infection from my dad who was sick one day earlier than I've been. And meanwhile my mum and my sweetheart are also having light symptoms. I just hope that my darling makes it until Friday because she's got an important test in school then.

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